Winchester Strong
by warr2654
Summary: Last part in the Big Brother series. With Ashley's injury, will she be able to care for her family, or will she find herself being babied by her brother Dean, who is forced to face a mistake he made a couple years back. With Dean's mistake, will Ben find himself lost without his father, or find a way to pull him back from the edge of a horrible destiny?
1. Chapter 1

_**Recovering**_

**AN: As always, I do not own _Supernatural_ even though I really wish I could. This story may contain language, dark themes, and violence. The rating is for safely reasons. It may contain spoilers, but at this point I do not think there will be many serious ones- there are some from season 9. I am always open to criticism and look forward to what you have to say about the chapters I post. If you do not like how something turned out or where I am going, let me know politely and I will try to work in your suggestions as best as possible, since I (literally) have some blank spaces in my already written chapters. Here is the first chapter of _Winchester Strong_! Tell me what you think, and read _Big Brother Winchester _first if you are just picking this up. ~Ash**

Ashley stared out the window of the house she shared with her family in San Diego while the news continued to cover how a jury would be selected for the James Holmes case. "Still think something is possessing the kid" Ashley muttered to the still room.

"No, he's just certifiably insane" Sam chuckled as he carefully sat down next to Ashley on the couch so as not to jar her still healing back.

"And you wanted to represent these people" she snickered as she struggled to get comfortable again. Ashley was almost fully recovered, five months later with the help of her family.

When Ashley was thrown by the archangel Raguel, her back was broken and several discs were both slipped and herniated. Upon release from the hospital, Dean shouldered the task of rehabilitating Ashley to the best she will be, while Sam helped her complete everyday tasks she still struggled with. It took a while and strained her relationship with Dean, but Ashley was finally ready to try running again.

"Damn, people just creep me out" Dean whined from his armchair. "Worse than fricken witches."

"Sucks you're surrounded by them" Ben smirked as he leaned over Ashley's shoulder. "So you going to run with me tomorrow?"

"No hun," Ashley smiled "you are too young and agile for me right now. I should go with Sam for a bit, then I'll go a couple rounds with you once I'm cleared by Dr. Dean."

Sam looked over his shoulder at Dean with a cocky grin on his face. Ever since Ashley got out of the hospital, they have begun to grow closer again. "Whoa, I'm not that much slower than Ben you know."

Ashley smiled the first truly genuine smile in a long time and placed her head on Sam's shoulder. Everyone continued to watch the local news for a case close to home while the two Winchester children slept upstairs. It was a comfortable silence, but even still Dean felt uncomfortable around his blood for whatever reason. Luckily he was saved by the sound of fluttering wings, announcing his closest friend came for a visit.

"Ben, Sam, Ashley, Dean" Castiel said in replacement of the normal "hello".

"Cas" everyone said in unison, causing the angel to take a stunned step back and a smile to spread across everyone else's face. "How are you, Cas?" Ashley asked without looking up form wherever he gaze had fallen once she placed her head on Sam's shoulder.

"Dean, we need to talk" Castiel replied.

* * *

><p>Ashley had fallen asleep on the couch again while she waited for Dean to finish talking with Castiel. Dean came back into the living room once the angel had left to turn off the TV, but instead he saw Ashley. No matter how hard he tried, Dean couldn't keep the smile off his hard face. He sat down next to Ashley's head on the edge of a cushion and found himself brushing the few strands of hair out of her calm face.<p>

"Mm, had a good talk?" Ashley said after a few minutes.

"Yeah, how'd you know I was here?" Dean whispered back.

"I could feel the brooding comin' off you. So everything okay?" Ever since Ashley got out of the hospital, she wasn't able to turn around and see who walked into the room with her or who was sitting around her. She learned to become dependent on reading the energy swirling around in the room the person emanated. Ashley was always good at this even before she broke her back, but now with her injury it was scary accurate and put everyone else on edge with how accurate she was.

"Not really. But I'm going to bed, I'll tell you later" Dean answered as he tried to change his thoughts and mood so Ashley would not question him right now.

"Mmkay" Ashley said as she drifted back to sleep. "Night, Dean."

Dean watched silently as Ashley rocketed back to sleep in record time. Once she was fully asleep again, Dean scooped her up to carry her up to bed. She had slept alone ever since coming home from the hospital to limit the chance of re-injuring her back. Dean carefully laid her down on the bed in Ben's previous room. He stepped back and continued to think about these last five months. _How can we go from being close to miles away?_


	2. Chapter 2: Word of an Angel

Ashley was woken up by Tara's cries and screams after the sun had started to shine through the window. As she rolled over to face her daughter, Ashley caught a shadow in the far, dark corner of her room. "The hell?" she shouted as she pulled her revolver out from under the pillow her head was just resting on. Ashley's heart rate sky-rocketed as she pulled the hammer back on her gun, earning her a lighter trigger to pull.

"It won't do much good" Castiel called out from the corner. "It will only upset Tara further and waste ammunition."

"Shit, Cas! What did I tell you about lurking in the dark" Ashley shouted as she carefully released the revolver's hammer.

"I apologize, but I felt as if I needed to be here today. How are you feeling?"

"Uh, aside from a pounding heart, fine" Ashley sighed as she knelt down next to Tara's crib. She had yet to be able to pick her daughter up on her own since her back was still weak and Tara was much heavier now, but she was determined to try since her daughter was crying and Sam or Dean weren't around to assit her.

"Allow me" Castiel said as he lifted the now one year old out of the crib with ease and placed her in Ashley's arms.

"Thanks. So, want to tell me what sparked the hours long talk with Dean last night?"

Castiel looked down at Ashley with a mixture of concern and surprise all over his face. "Didn't Dean tell you?"

"Uh, no" Ashley huffed as she prepared a bottle for Tara. "Are you going to fill me in or not?"

* * *

><p><strong>Ashley<strong>

Hours after hearing the news from Castiel, I continued to sit and think on the bed With my baby laying on her back smiling back up at me. I could smell the coffee brewing and breakfast on the stove, but I was still too shocked to function Any further than play with Tara. _How could Dean not tell me this? He always tells me everything._

After being dormant for over a year, it has become clear to Castiel while he watched over us something was going on with Dean recently. Apparently it wasn't evident until he began to rub his arm more in discomfort whenever he felt his temper rise after my accident. "Am I doing this to him?" I asked the open space, now knowing that we have our own guardian angel always watching us. _No_ he responded silently _everything happening around him is._ "How can we help him?" I sobbed as I pulled Tara in close to my chest. She was ignorant as to how I was feeling right now, but she continued to giggle and coo against my sweatshirt. Even though she was just an infant, she seems to be my totem my constant, always keeping me grounded. Maybe it was how she smelled or the look on her face when she saw my own.

"You can't" came the answer to my question, but unfortunately it was my ears that registered the broken voice behind me, not the resonance of Castiel's voice in my head.

"Sure I can" I said lifting my head up. If I could have turned without standing, I would have done somto face Dean and look him in the eye. But instead I heard his boots start walking over to where I was and felt the resistance in his energy as he reached me and his niece. "There has to be some way to help" I continued, trying to ease the struggle I felt in his energy.

Dean took Tara from my tired arms once she saw her Uncle's ageing face after sitting down next to me. As he lifted her up to stand on his legs, I caught a glimpse of the glowing mark on his right arm under his thin jacket. He never answered my question but he felt my gaze on his arm and met mine with sad hazel eyes. "Go run with Sam; he's waiting on your lazy ass."

* * *

><p>It was hard on Ashley to keep moving one foot in front of the other, but she continued while Sam kept a watchful eye on her movements and the expression on her face. Currently she looked concerned about something and it seemed to keep hitting a stone wall. "What do you keep pounding at, Ash?" Sam asked after stopping next to her, signaling her to hold on.<p>

"Nothing, Sammy" she panted "just trying not to trip right now."

"Bullshit" he said handing her some water. "Just tell me what it is. Is it your back?"

"No, its fine, just a little sore actually" Ashley sighed as she turned back to start the walk home. "It's about Dean and what Castiel had to tell him last night."

Sam followed behind his sister, ears perked at what could be so big that even a run couldn't clear her mind. "Which was…?" Sam goaded.

"Let's go get a beer tonight, all three of us. He will tell you then or so help me!"

**AN: Things are rolling now, think this will pose a big problem for the happy family? Tell me what you think, please! ~Ash**


	3. Chapter 3: Night Out

_**Night Out**_

Ashley struggled into her jeans and pulled a Stanford hoodie over her black bra. The last time she was in jeans, her body was so mangled she had to be cut out of them and they were just tossed in the trash. The fabric felt stiff compared to the running shorts and sweatpants she had lived in for five months, but she felt more like herself now, more whole. With a smile she slipped her feet into her Rainbow flip flops and kissed Tara goodnight before closing the bedroom door behind her.

Dean was waiting right outside her bedroom door in case she needed help getting into her jeans. "Who's driving?" he asked once she stepped out into the hall.

"Hopefully not me" Ashley smiled as she slipped under his unmarked arm.

"Oh Killer, going to get crazy?" Dean asked as he led Ashley towards the stairs and started down them slowly, careful to keep an eye on Ashley so she wouldn't trip or lose her balance.

"No, just not going to stay sober tonight if I can help it" she smiled as Dean grabbed the Impala's keys off the table.

"I wish I could go with you guys" Ben sighed as Sam finished checking over his college common app essay.

"You got another couple years" Dean replied as he glanced over Sam's shoulder at his son's college essay. To say Dean was proud would be an understatement of the century. He never wanted hunting to be all Ben did with his life, and Dean knew if he didn't go to college both Lisa and Ashley would haunt his ass. The only stipulation he had was that Ben stay close to home so he could still protect Ben if he needed to.

"What's the topic?" Ashley asked while the two boys read over it.

"Discuss an accomplishment or event, formal or informal that marked your transition from childhood to adulthood" Sam answered for a suddenly embarrassed Ben once he had finished reading for himself.

"Your Mom?" Ashley asked, catching Ben's glassy gaze.

"No" he choked, swallowing a sob.

"Family business," Dean replied once he also finished reading "alongside his father, uncle, and-"

"and surrogate mom" Ben finished for himself. "I thought you three were going out. Why are you still breathing down my neck?"

"Alright, we're going" Ashley smiled as she gave Ben a hug and kiss on top of his head. "Call if you need anything, then text the problem so someone can maybe comprehend it" she winked.

Dean and Sam smiled at Ashley's remark and followed her out. "It's good, by the way" Dean said once he got to the door. "Should be a shoe in."

* * *

><p>Ashley sat staring at the next round of shots sitting in front of her while she played with the peeling label on her third beer. Dean took the responsibility to tell Sam about the conversation he had with Castiel. Ashley couldn't help but feel the uneasy worry flood out of Sam like a dam had just opened, but she could only put a comforting hand on his knee. "He's saying there isn't anything we can do" she sighed after taking another gulp form her beer.<p>

"Course something can be done, Dean! Did Cas have any suggestions?" Sam finally spoke up.

"No, he's a little stumped and angel forum has no threads" Dean joked as he reached for his own shot.

"This isn't a joke, Dean" Ashley lectured. "We can go back to Cain, or I can try and see if some spirit can dig up-"

"No Ash, this is my burden and I will handle it" Dean interrupted as he stood up.

"You didn't let me handle my own burden, the demon blood" Sam spat as Dean got to his feet.

"This is me handling it, so much better than you did" he said as he sauntered up to the bar where a lone blond was sitting.

"Guess your driving tonight" Ashley sighed as she took her own shot as well as Sam's.

"He's got the keys" Sam smirked as he signaled for a new round. "Neither of us are driving, Ben is or we are walking."

Ashley looked over at the bar where Dean was now standing with a group of blonds. He was trying to flirt his way into one of their rooms, but Ashley could see the mark glowing under his shirt again. _What if he hurts one of the girls? What if he hurts himself tonight and we aren't there to stop it or clean up his mess?_ she thought to herself as she took the last gulp on her beer. "He's struggling, think we should do something?" she finally vocalized.

"No" Sam sighed, "as much as I am thankful I'm not on demon blood anymore, quarantining me was the worst way to do it. I won't ever forgive Dean for that. What we need to do is just try and be normal around him, he is also trying to be normal even though that thing is lighting up like a Christmas tree. It's good we don't have a lead on the First Blade, I figure it would be worse if he had that around."

* * *

><p>The ride home was long and slow, but Ashley was grateful she didn't have to walk the whole way home. Ben kept glancing at the mirror at her, almost as if he was expecting something else to happen, or could sense something was wrong. "What is it, hun?" Ashley whispered since Sam had passed out on her shoulder.<p>

"What if I don't want to go to college?" Ben whispered out the windshield.

"Then don't," she slurred "but for the record I think you should, and I know you Mom would have wanted you too. This is what she was afraid of, you not finishing school and getting caught up in our line of work. She would have kicked Dean's ass and mine if we said don't go."

Ben considered what Ashley said as well as his own thoughts; of course Dean and his mom would be disappointed, but Ben would be miserable otherwise. "I uh, I found a case while you guys were out. Think it's a weird one and it is by a beach" he muttered trying to change the subject.

"I'll take a look at the file in the morning. Good job, hun" she smiled as Ben pulled into the driveway. "We'll be up once Sam comes round."

"Alright," Ben said tossing the keys back at her "want a blanket? Pillow?"

"Naah, I'm good, got this giant space heater next to me" she smiled as she leaned her head back. "Night, Ben."

"Night, Ash."


	4. Chapter 4: On the Road

**_On the Road_**

Ashley woke up to banging on the window and the harsh sunlight coming through the glass. Ashley cracked an eye open to glance over at the hairy head belonging to her brother on her lap. "Its Dean, open the door" Sam moaned as he ran a hand through his too long hair.

"Do I have to?" Ashley whined as she opened the front door of her car. "What?"

"Ben's got a case. Did you look at it?" he asked, confused as to why his brother and sister were sleeping in the car.

"No, didn't make it in yet" Sam yawned as he reached for the file probably in Dean's hands.

"Oceanshores, Washington" Dean started filling in Ashley while Sam scanned the file "people keep drowning at the beach."

"So tell the city to hire a lifeguard or two" Ashley replied, unsure how this could be a real case they would be interested in.

"They were all on land" Sam read out loud.

Dean smiled and peaked over at Ashley, waiting for the next remark. "So, you two interested?"

"Alright" Ashley surrendered with a grin. "We can also make a family vacation out of it. Call Mom, see is she wants to join."

Dean smiled even wider and lit up like Times Square on New Year's Eve. "Don't think for a second you'll be working this one" he hollered over his shoulder.

"Sure thing" she mumbled as she sank back down in the seat.

"Hey, Little One?" Sam asked quietly

"Yeah?" Ashley answered as she got more comfortable against Sam's side.

"Do you have this feeling that it's a bad idea to take this case? Like something horrible is going to happen and your stomach is getting eaten up?"

"That's how I always feel when Dean is itching to go on a case. Welcome to the club" she sighed as she got up to head towards the house.

* * *

><p>Everyone loaded into the Impala and began their way up to Washington. Ashley happily sat in the middle of her two brothers while Metallica played in the background. Dean and Ben both hummed along while Justin and Sam stared out the window at passing trees. This was their chance at normalcy while continuing on the job John and Mary started; Ashley crossed her fingers and toes that this would work out exactly like she hoped and dreamed, not like the feeling both her and Sam had brewing in their gut.<p>

**AN: Just a fluffy chapter to set the mood, I will post another one tonight as well. Tell me what you think!**


	5. Chapter 5: Day at the Beach

_**Day at the Beach**_

Sam and Dean went to go talk to the victim's families while Ashley agreed to check out the beach. Ben happily went along and agreed to watch Justin and Tara. As she toed the sand around where the two people miraculously drowned, she couldn't help but think about how nice it was here. Aside from drowning on solid land, this beach was nice and safe- Ashley could just see how life would be if they moved here. Tara would be running after Justin while she watched from the porch. Ben most likely would have picked up surfing, all while her brothers were still roaming the country looking for the next Jefferson Starships.

That fantasy brought a smile to her face, but was interrupted by her big toe colliding with something other than sand. "Hey, Ben" Ashley called over, turning her back towards the breeze coming off the ocean.

"Yeah?" he answered. His eyes caught the wind blowing her hair and thin sweater tighter across her body. Ben had never seen Ashley look this relaxed and at ease before, even when she was spending time with him or Justin or Tara. "W-what's up?" he managed out around his thoughts.

"Call Sam, I think I found something." Ben walked over to where Ashley was standing to see a half-dozen hex bags popping up out of the sand. "We got something big on our hands."

The look on Ben's face must have been one like Ashley had never seen before because she instantly started laughing. "The hell is so funny, Ash?" Ben gawked as he continued to stare at her feet.

"Just call Sam" Ashley said as she kicked one of the hex bags up into her hand before walking back to where her children were playing in the sand.

* * *

><p>"So, how many hex bags?" Dean asked as he loosened his tie and took his jacket off.<p>

"Um about 20" Ashley replied from the bathroom where she was trying to clean all the sand off Tara.

"So what? One per victim?" Dean yelled back to her.

"I don't know" she said stepping out of the bathroom with her hair wrapped in a towel along with a puffy eyed baby girl. "But I brought one back, in pieces of course. Here, take grumpy" she said handing off the damp bundle.

Dean reluctantly took Tara from Ashley while she went over to where she last put the diaper bag. "But I am in my fed suit" he whined as he balanced Tara on one hip. She automatically latched onto his neck while Ashley only shrugged as she threw a fresh diaper over to Dean. "Don't tell me you put the bag next to the wipes" he chuckled as he put Tara down on the bed.

"Ran out of pockets" she jeered with a big smile.

"So, what's in it?" Sam asked as he walked through the connecting door leading to the children's hotel room with a freshly washed Justin.

"Bunch of crap meant to kill, but this one's already been called on" she informed her brothers.

"Some look older, more weathered maybe?" Dean asked as he put Tara's clothes on as well.

"Yeah" Ashley shrugged as she set out Tara's dinner.

"Like 10 years of sand and water, weathered?"

"Possibly, why?" Ashley asked now fully invested.

"These two families, multiple members have died this way- going back to early 2000s" Sam replied as he handed a police file over to Ashley.

"No shit" she whispered as she thumbed through. "So what are you thinking?"

"One old ass witch-"

"- and a fricken strong one at that" Sam finished for his brother. "Other than that, we have no clue."

"What about rough reaper with a thing for this family" Ben suggested as he came back with dinner for everyone but Tara.

"But the hex bag?" Sam asked at the same time.

"Could be following orders, like uh- that one in Nebraska" Dean recalled.

"But that was black magic."

"Come on, Sammy" Ashley chuckled as she sat down to feed Tara her peas and chicken pieces. "you should know black magic can be used through a hex bag. You okay?"

"Yeah, just tired I guess."

"Eat" Ashley and Dean ordered at the same time.

* * *

><p>In the morning, Ashley rolled away from Sam's side to see Dean perched on the side of his bed facing the door. It was way too early for Dean to be horizontal and scared Ashley enough to take a look at his energy. She held out her hands and began to gauge what her brother was feeling. His energy was angry and tormented, yet the colors were gray muddled with blue tones around is head. <em>He's really messed up<em> Ashley thought to herself. _I can feel his energy, but his aura says he's depressed and trying to stay strong all by himself._

It broke Ashley's heart to see Dean's shoulders so tight and yet slumped. She couldn't keep her thoughts to herself any longer, so instead she quietly padded over to where he was sitting. "De?" she whispered "you're not okay. Please let me help you."

Dean looked up from his calloused hands. His eyes were puffy from lack of sleep and his hair was messy from constantly running a hand through it. "How do you know?" he growled in a voice almost animal like with how deep it was.

"I have my ways" she replied, unsure if she actually should be standing right next to Dean right now. "Let me try something, please? I think it'll help."

"I can practically smell the fear on you. Why?"

"Because I can't predict your next move anymore. Just-please just trust me?" Ashley squeaked.

"Fine, but not here" he said getting up from the bed as he gestured towards Sam's bed.

"Where are your keys?" she asked as she grabbed her jacket.


	6. Chapter 6: Working Hard

_**Working Hard**_

Dean had finally fallen back to sleep in the backseat of his car- Ashley had spent hours working with Dean to try and relieve his feelings. With his head on her lap, Ashley began to work on Dean's gray cloud around his head. It took hours for her to remove the gray as well as the negative energy, but she was finally able to.

Dean slept soundly despite the cramped conditions. The angry mark on his arm also stopped glowing and went back to just looking like an awful brand someone might put on their goat. Ashley couldn't help but run her hand through the short cut hair Dean always modeled after John's own cut. "I'm sure if my hair was brown and less like Mom's, I would have gotten the same cut" she whispered. "I'm terrified De. I'm mortified of losing you again and this mark is pulling you away from me again, just like those hellhounds. Don't you dare pull away from me, let me keep helping, please!"

Her please and confessions were becoming more and more desperate as she continued to speak. No matter how she tried, Ashley wasn't able to keep her tears inside. They began to fall all around her and soak her neck in salty water as her chest began to heave. "I won't leave you" Dean mumbled out. "So stop being a damn girl."

Ashley smiled at the sound of her brother's voice. "I woke you, I'm sorry."

"I should go anyways. Got a witch or reaper on the loose. Sammy up?" he groaned as he moved his sore muscles to a seated position.

"Yeah. Texted asking if everything was okay around 7. How are you feeling?"

Dean looked over at his finally composed baby sister as she tucked her hands into the pockets of her jacket. "No longer going to rip out a throat. Thanks, Killer."

"My pleasure. Wake me up anytime you start to feel bag again. You uh, you won't have to go far anymore" she shrugged, hoping to get a nod from Dean.

"No" he said as he got out of the car.

* * *

><p><strong>Castiel<strong>

I understand why Dean refused to allow Ashley to stay too close to him. With how erratic and sudden his behavior can become, it's best no one stands too close to Dean for too long right now. But I am surprised he responded so quickly and so soon after Ashley bared her soul to him. He heard every word, felt every shake, yet Dean didn't care in the least. Perhaps it was the mark on his arm; perhaps it was something real, something truly inside Dean's heart.

* * *

><p>As Sam and Dean drove away, Ashley couldn't help but pay attention to the growing apprehension in her guy. Ashley may have cleared the negativity from Dean's energy, but that doesn't mean she changed how he thought. "Castiel," she sighed as she looked up towards the sky "you there?"<p>

"Yes Ashley. How are you?" the angel answered from right next to Ashley. "Dean, he's not good, is he?" she asked, afraid of the answer she might get back. Judging by the look plastered on Castiel's easily readable face, "I'm not going to like the answer, huh?"

"I'm sorry Ashley. What you did helped him, but he still has the curse in his blood stream. That isn't anything you can change."

"Well you can, right? Change it, that is."

"For the same reason I can't help you heal, and more. Dean's blood is tainted. I cannot change his whole essence" Castiel admitted. "I am sorry, Ashley. Dean must fight this curse on his own."

Ashley hated that Castiel's angelic hands were tied, but nothing else could be done. "Just- keep close? Take care of him today?"

"As you wish" Castiel agreed before zapping to wherever Dean and Sam was now.

"Just bring him home safe, Sammy too. I need them both."

_They will be fine and home soon_ Castiel sent a thought down into Ashley's head.

"Thanks, buddy" she sighed before walking back into the hotel room.

* * *

><p>Ben was right, it was a rouge reaper killing off anyone who shared blood with the Roberts or was once a Roberts. The first victim, Ericka was adopted by Chuck and Marylyn Roberts moments after she was born. Dean and Sam made the mistake of not checking into the birth mother, because the fact that, the real Roberts and her cousin also died the same way.<p>

"It was the birth mom all along. Thought you checked her out?" Sam whispered from the wall he was standing behind with Dean.

"No thought you did, geek" Dean grunted as he reached for his gun with his marked arm. Dean peeked around the corner to make sure the reaper was still coming. "Alright, I'll lead him off, you shoot the bitch controlling him" Dean yelled as he took off towards the direction he reaper was coming.

"No, dammit Dean!" Sam yelled after his brother.

"Just shoot her, Sammy!"

* * *

><p><strong>Sam<strong>

How am I supposed to tell Ashley that I lost Dean? He led the reaper away while I went after Lisa Butler, Ericka's birth mother. I was able to shoot Lisa in the head and went to go look for him; he was gone- along with the Impala's keys.

I pulled out my cell phone and dialed Ashley's number from memory. _Yeah_ she said into the phone. "Ash, hey. Have you heard from Dean?" _Why would I have heard from him?_ I knew I was going to be in for a world of hate, but we had to work on finding him. "Alright, I'm on my way back. I'll fill you in when I'm back." _Sammy, you're scaring me. Are you guys alright?_ "Ten minutes, Ash" I said before hanging up the phone.

**AN: Tell me what you are all thinking, please! Home you all enjoyed the chapter!**


	7. Chapter 7: Gone

_**Gone Into the Night**_

Ashley couldn't help but feel her stomach drop when Sam showed up in a beat up Honda Civic without Dean next to him. Sam hated boosting cars, but he does so when completely necessary. "What happened to the Impala?" she smiled nervously from her perch on the boulder on the edge of the sand of the beach. Ashley needed a moment away from the three children stuck in the small hotel room, and this seemed the like appropriate escape while Ben watched the two younger ones.

"Nothing, its fine" Sam sighed as he perched on the small portion Ashley was not using. He got comfortable and rested his back against Ashley's side, sharing warmth. The breeze coming off the ocean was cold, but the worry building up inside of him kept Sam plenty warm and probably radiated from like like a space heater.

"Dean find another chick to go home with? Why can't I have his luck with straight guys" Ashley chuckled as she pulled her sweatshirt closer around her.

"Uh, no he kind of disappeared" Sam struggled to get out, knowing Ashley would be made upset by hearing the news.

"What do you mean disappeared?" she barked next to her brother. Her temper was starting to rise and her body began to shake in response. She wasn't completely sure if it was the cold getting into her bones or the anger pouring out of her every pore right now. "What about his cell? Did you track it?"

"Yeah, it's in the Impala" Sam answered as he turned to look at Ashley's profile against the light purple sky over the ocean. Her jaw was clearly set and those worry lines she often stressed about were clearly shown on her face.

"Good, so he made it back to the car, right?" she asked, hopping of the rock she once made her seat to pace.

"Possibly, but not positive" he shrugged as he took over the rest of the rock.

"Castiel we need your guardian angel know-hows" Ashley said into her hand covered by her sweatshirt.

"How may I be of assistance to you both?" Castiel greeted the two youngest Winchesters.

"Dean's missing" Sam broke the silence "do you know where he is?"

"I will find him and bring him home" Cas promised before disappearing again into the darkness.

"Thanks, Cas" Ashley whispered ever after he had gone.

* * *

><p><strong>Castiel<strong>

Castiel started his search where the Impala was still parked. He had to admit- she was truly beautiful and very well made. As the angel ran a hand across the hood as he walked, he remembered the first time he rode in this car. Castiel was amazed at the sound of the engine and enjoyed feeling of the rumble under the soft leather seats. "I will find you, Dean" Castiel said out loud to himself "so as not to only return you to your family, but also to return to your _Baby_."

When he had finally reached the trunk of the black beauty, it was clear to Castiel Dean had returned to the car, but from here he was taken by some unfamiliar entity. _I must inform Sam and Ashley right away_ Castiel thought as he beamed back to the hotel they were staying in. When Castiel made it to the hotel room, he was surprised to see both Sam and Ashley asleep, as well as everyone but Tara. "Shouldn't you be asleep?" Castiel whispered down to the tiny human being staring at him.

Her eyes were wide like her father's, yet looked exactly like her mothers. "I know Dean always told me I shouldn't lurk while you sleep, but you seem awake" Castiel reasoned as he bent to pick up the now standing Tara up into his arms. Castiel always found himself mesmerized by the child- they were so innocent, yet they were so complex both in and out. Castiel took a moment to listen into her thoughts.

"Cas? That you?" Ashley murmured into the dark room from the same bed as Sam.

"Yes, Tara was not sleeping when I came in" he defended himself.

"You're fine. We'll talk in the morning then" she replied before putting her head back down on Sam's tattooed pec.

"Yes, uh good night Ashley" Castiel awkwardly said in response.

* * *

><p>By the time everyone was beginning to wake up, Castiel had already satisfied his curiosities enough in Tara's complicated thoughts and allowed her to stay curled up against his side in sleep. Ashley though, the first to fall asleep was the second to side and see the heartwarming scene.<p>

"Good morning, Uncle Cas" Ashley smirked as she made her way over towards the angel lost in thought. "You uh, you okay Cas?" she asked again when she still had no response from him.

"Yes, I apologize, its just- well do you know how extraordinary your child is?" Castiel said, finally snapping back to the present once he felt Ashley reach to pick up Tara.

"I think I have a good idea" Ashley smiled as she put Tara down on Dean's former bed.

"But her mind, she doesn't think like you would expect a child to! She processes and deliberates- she weighs each option!"

"Cas" Ashley interrupted his ranting "I'm sorry, but did you discover anything else other than Tara's beautiful mind?"

Castiel almost looked embarrassed for his exciting discovery, but in all actuality it was because he forgot his true mission, the job given to him by those most concerned about his closest friend. "Right Dean" Castiel said mostly for his own benefit. "But shouldn't we wait for Sam and Ben to wake?"

"I am up" Sam croaked from the bed he was still occupying. "You both are extremely loud."

"I'm sorry, Sam" Ashley replied as she left to the joining room to see if Ben was up.

"Did you really sit there listening to Tara's mind all night?" Sam chuckled as he sat up to stretch.

"It truly was remarkable" Castiel smiled as he looked over at Tara, still asleep in the middle of the bed.

"Glad to hear it" Sam smiled as Ashley came back in with a showered and fully awake Ben.

"Alright, what's up Cas" Ashley asked as she sat against Sam's bent knees still covered by the hotel's sheets, starting the hunter's monthly meeting.


	8. Chapter 8: Walk to the Beach

_**Walk on the Beach**_

As expected Ben was most outraged with everything Castiel had to say. Ben was mostly angry he wasn't informed about the talk Castiel had with Dean and that he wasn't informed of his own father's state of mind. Now he was missing, with the slight chance he just up and walked away from his family. Ben kept his mouth shut for as long as he could before exploding. "How come it wasn't important enough to tell me?"

"Ben hun, it was Dean's place-" Ashley started before she was cut off.

"No, it was everyone's place! No privacy, no secrets right? Isn't that what you guys preach?"

"Look," Sam cut in "you can be as mad as you want with us, but it's not helping Dean!"

Ben looked over to his uncle shocked he raised his voice. Sam never raised his voice towards Ben or Justin; he only got loud when he was angry with Ashley or Dean. "You're right" Ben sighed before turning towards Castiel again. "So, any clue what that 'entity' is?"

"It has similar qualities to that of a demon, yet it is more powerful" he answered matter of factly.

"Well it's not Crowley, we know that. And hellhound?" Ashley asked the angel.

"No, did not have any animalistic properties."

"Hm, well what about another knight?" Sam pondered out loud.

"Dean's the only one left" Ashley rebutted.

"That we know of" Sam threw in.

"Alright, Cas can you look into it more? We'll also search around here" Ashley ordered nicer than Dean often would, but still with enough authority to kick everyone into gear.

* * *

><p><strong>Dean<strong>

I thought I was the last knight when Cain transferred over the mark and got rid of Abaddon. Once I finally ditched the reaper, I decided to wait for Sam by the car. As I leaned up against Baby's bumper, I could sense someone walking up towards me- I could tell by the way my arm started to burn it wasn't Sammy. "What the fuck do you want, whoever you are?"

"We want you to join us, Dean Winchester" the man answered as he came closer to where I was. "My name in Baal."

"Baal, as in that weird man, cat, toad thing?" I asked, racking my brain for exactly what Baal was.

"I see you've read up on your dreams" he chuckled. "I am one of the seven princes of Hell. My brothers and I would like to talk with you."

"Right, I'll have my people call your people" I growled as I turned to find out what was taking Sam so long. Unfortunately Baal got the jump on me and transported me to this old warehouse. _Why does everyone think warehouses are the perfect meeting place?_

"Dean, we only want to offer you an excellent opportunity. You take care of some trash for us and we can remove the mark, for good" a beach blond said from a long table of only 5… things.

"And who are you, bro?" I taunted in an attempt to earn my exit faster.

"Belphegor."

"So, Belphegor, what is it you want me to do?" I growled once he stood up from in between Baal and the strangely vacant seat.

"Kill the remaining knight" he replied coolly.

"Who? Abaddon? We haven't heard about her resurfacing. I don't even know where the First Blade is, this mark is useless without!"

"We know where both are," a Dick Roman look alike spoke up "but the blade will only be delivered once you have the knight in your possession."

"And the mark, Dick?" I replied once again letting me tongue and anger get the best of me.

"Ah, so you do remember me, Dean" Dick sneered "do we have a deal?"

"Fine" I replied on my way out of the warehouse. I had to get back to the hotel before Ash took off Castiel's head and Ben made a lunge for Sam's.

* * *

><p>Ever since reviewing the phone call from Dean, the Winchesters had relaxed slightly. Ashley curled up around Tara while she took her afternoon nap. She kept thinking about the deal Dean had to tell everyone about. "What do you think it is?" she asked the quiet room.<p>

"Hell if I know," Sam responded "anything is possible."

Ben continued to stare at the door waiting for Dean to come through it at any moment. When he called, Dean said he was close to Oceanshores. "I'm going to head down to the beach, tell me when he gets back."

"Sure" Ashley said the same time Sam nodded.

* * *

><p>Dean stood at the edge of the beach and watched Ben, Ashley, Sam, Justin, and Tara. He had messed up his family so much; they actually looked relaxed without him. Ashley was sun bathing on her stomach while Sam sat close by reading some old book in shorts and no shirt. Dean's son was standing at the water's edge with Tara playing next to him. Dean followed Ben's gaze and saw Justin playing in the waves.<p>

That is exactly what he wanted, to see his boy take care of his younger brother and cousin. Of course the responsibility wouldn't all fall on Ben's shoulders, but Dean was happy to see him step up to the plate.

Dean finally made his way his way over to where his siblings were sitting. He wasn't sure what he would say or how he should even feel about this deal, but as he got closer to his siblings dean began to feel his burning mark less and less. It was probably Ashley's calm energy and seeing Sam safe and unharmed. "Hey" Dean sighed nonchalantly as he relaxed on the towel Ashley was tanning on.

"Dean?" Sam grinned as he closed the book he was reading and Ashley sat up.

"You're back" she replied "you okay?"

**AN: What do you all think? I had to do some research, so apologies if there are conflicting Wikipedia pages. Tell me what you all thought, deeply appreciate it! **


	9. Chapter 9: Witch Doctor

_**Witch Doctor**_

Dean quickly caught up with Sam and about the case while Ashley continued to stare at her brother. There was something off about him, but she couldn't quite put her finger on it. When Ashley glanced up at Sam's face, she could tell he felt the same.

"Y-you're back" Ben stammered when he got up to where his three parents were sitting. Justin was coming up behind Ben, who was holding a very tired Tara in one arm.

"Papa! You're home" Justin said as he ran up to wrap his arms around Dean's neck.

"Yeah, hey Tiger" Dean smiled, now all wet as he looked up to Ben. "How are you?"

"Why didn't you say anything to me?" he barked back at his father. "You told them, but you didn't think I deserved to know!"

Dean seemed to take a moment to soak in what was said- Ben was right. He wasn't a kid anymore and he was fully emerged into the Winchester lifestyle. "You're right. All five of us will uh, we'll go get something to eat" Dean apologized. "I'm going to shower, see if Castiel can kid-sit."

Ashley watched as Dean struggled back through the sand in his old motorcycle boots. "Did something seem-"

"-off?"  
>"-strange?" Sam and Ben both asked at the same time, interrupting Ashley's thought.<p>

"Very" Justin answered as he sat down in the chair next to Sam. "Is he going to be okay?"

"Yes, baby" Ashley answered as she shrugged her sweater on over her bikini. "I'm going to go check on him."

* * *

><p>When Ashley opened the door to the hotel, she was relieved to hear the shower running and saw Dean's clothes strewed all across his bed. "So, how was the walk back from Seattle?" Ashley hollered as she sat down on the bed furthest from the front door.<p>

"It was a walk, kinda long" Dean replied from the shower. "Why?"

"Just curious" Ashley shrugged even though nobody was in the room with her. "How about the mark?"

"What is this? 20 questions?" Dean called out as he turned off the water.

"Maybe," she shrugged again "why are you avoiding?"

"Because" Dean said as he finally came out of the bathroom. The towel was wrapped around his waist while water dripped down his chest.

"The mark, it's acting up again, isn't it?" Instead of giving an answer, Dean gave Ashley a pained look, hidden behind the building anger and resentment. "Dean, you can't keep this! It'll make it harder on me to help you!"

"I don't want your witchy help!" he snapped at his sister as he snatched new clothes and slammed the door shut.

"Common Dean!" Ashley screamed "You are going to end up killing yourself. You won't talk, you drink, you are poisoning yourself! A-and I won't be around to watch it happen."

Dean stuck his head out of the bathroom to get a better look at how serious Ashley was. "Fuck, you aren't kidding."

"Aren't kidding about what?" Sam asked as he walked in with Justin asleep on his shoulder.

"I'm leaving, Tara'll come with" Ashley told Sam. "Dean refuses to help himself; I won't stay and watch him kill himself."

"Whoa, what?" Ben shrieked as he put Tara down in the portable sleeper.

"You pick what you want to do, I'll be back."

As soon as the door slammed shut behind Ashley, Sam felt the anger start to boil within him. "What did she offer you, Dean?" Sam asked calmly for now so he wouldn't scare Justin or Tara.

"Who says she offered me anything?"

"Cuz I know her better than you do" Sam answered one notch closer to losing his temper.

"Rikki thing she does. Play witch on me!" he shouted at his little brother. _How can he stand there and see what she does as okay? It's only a matter of time before she gets into the black stuff!_

"Ashley isn't a damn witch!" Sam spat back allowing his rage to send Dean up against a wall. "She's an adult and a smart one!"

Dean looked into Sam's angry eyes now that he was close enough. They were a darker green then his own right now- meant he was seriously peeved. "Let go of me, Sammy" he warned as he tensed his muscles.

"It's not Sammy" he growled without letting go.

"Why didn't you let her help?" Dean spat around Sam.

"It's not her job; it's not anyone else's job but mine."

Sam finally let go of Dean and let him catch his breath again before going after him again. It was only then did Sam realize all he could hear was the sound of his own blood rushing around his head. "You know Dean, you must really hate yourself a whole lot if you won't even take help from blood." He left the room as quickly as the words left his mouth and didn't bother to look back, or shut the door very quietly. Sam went looking for Ashley- that room was the last place he wanted to be right now, and Ashley was the first person that seemed to understand where he was coming from.


	10. Chapter 10: I enjoy

_**I enjoy long walks on the beach...**_

**Sam**

I walked around the beach for an hour or so before I noticed a figure standing in the water. As I walked closer to the water's edge I noticed it was Ashley. I had gotten so upset with Dean all of a sudden that I completely forgotten she just stormed out… even though I went looking for her. She was standing still, but her shoulders were shaking. "Ash?" I called out as I got closer.

"Hey Sam," she sniffled "why are you out here?"

"Checking up on my sister, and uh, needed some air" I admitted as I slipped an arm around her shoulders. "You really gonna pull a page from my book and leave?"

Ashley looked up at me like she was caught kicking a puppy. Her eyes were almost as bright as Dean's own, but they were red and puffy around the outsides. She didn't want to really go and I didn't want her to go either. Ashley would have to take my niece with her, probably Justin too. "I can't stay here, not if he isn't willing to help himself."

"I get that" I nodded "but I don't want you to leave with Tara and Justin." There was a silence between us that seemed to agree on all fronts. Dean couldn't be left alone and Ash couldn't take care of two kids all on her own. "I'll go see what the deal was Dean mentioned. One more night, see if he changes his mind and if not I'll call Mom and tell her you'll need help back in San Diego."

"Thanks, Sammy" she whispered as I began to walk back to the hotel.

* * *

><p><strong>Dean<strong>

I couldn't imagine a house without kids again, or a house at all. I didn't think Ashley would really leave either, but she probably will and Sam will probably go with her. Means I'll only have Ben if he decides to stay.

"Dean?" Sam called out "You still here?"

"Huh? Yeah" I answered from the conjoining room. "So, you are leavin'?"

"No, she's not leaving yet. Talked her into waiting a bit."

"Hmm, woulda made a good lawyer" I kidded as he came to sit across from me and the laptop.

"Hah, maybe" he chuckled. "So, what was the deal?"

I looked up into his eyes for the second time in a day. They weren't angry anymore, now they were protective and concerned. "I had a nice meeting with 5 of the 7 Princes of Hell. They offered to remove the mark if I get rid of the last Knight of Hell."

Sam stared at me with shock dripping out of his wide open mouth. It took all I had not to laugh at the stupid look that had taken over my brother's face. The 7 princes?"

"Yup. Mammon, Asmodeus, Baal, Belphegor, Lucifer, Satan, and Leviathan" I answered.

"Wait, you said only 5 were there," Sam clarified "who wasn't?"

"Lucifer and Satan" I answered as I pushed the laptop back over to him.

"Cuz they are one in the same-"

"-and still locked in the cage." I finished for him.

"And Leviathan were there?"

"Naah, just our friend Dick Roman" I confirmed.

"Of course he was" Sam sighed. "Look Dean, we gotta tell Ash. She deserves to know, she can help. Her back is getting stronger-"

"- no Sammy" I interrupted. "She wants to leave, so she will! And you're going with her."

* * *

><p><strong>Sam<strong>

I finally heard when Ashley came in it was a couple hours after Dean passed out from the amount of alcohol he drank after our fight. He told me to leave with Ashley; I wasn't too accepting of that order.

I punched him square across the jaw, I felt his face give way and I saw him stumble backwards. My size was almost a slight advantage when it came to our fights, but only until he regained his footing. Dean came back at me, lunging for my knees. I felt my head smack against the edge of an armchair and Dean's weight fall onto my chest. "Well fuck" I gasped out as all my air was forced out of my lungs.

"Big fall harder" Dean grunted as he pulled me back to my feet by my shirt.

"Dean, you can't expect me to just leave you" I groaned as he pinned me against a wall. This was the calmest fight we had ever had; we were getting old and softening up too much.

"Watch me" he spat as he started to pull me towards the front door.

"Boys" a stiff voice said behind us. "stop quarreling."

Dean stiffened up at the voice as if it was our fathers, it did sound exactly like him though. "Cas, what the hell are you doing here?"

"I came to sit with Tara; I welcome her thoughts like I used to welcome the autistic man's heaven. Why are you two fighting?"

Dean released my shirt so I could turn to face the angel. The look of confusion on his face was almost comical, but I had enough to sense not to laugh.

As I heard Ashley making her way over to the bed, I heard her whisper something (probably to Castiel) before kissing (hopefully) Tara's forehead. I didn't wasn't to tell her about my fight with Dean or about his predicament, but I also didn't want her to think I fell asleep without her knowing if she was okay. "Little One?" I whispered out in the dark.

"Why are you still up, Sammy?" she answered as she sat down next to where I was lying.

"Make sure you were okay" I smiled as I started to tickle her side- it always made her squirm when we were kids. This time I felt my hand against a bandage on her thigh. "A-are you okay? What happened?" Instead of a verbal answer, I got an unsought of tears spilling onto my brown shirt as soon as she curled up into my side around her sobs. "Dammit, Dean" I sighed as I pulled her in closer. "I'm going to kill him!"

" 'm sorry Sammy" she sniffled, voice heavy with sleep.

"Not your fault, just sleep."

**AN: Sorry it took me a little longer to update this time, I had some family business going on, but all is great now! Here is the next chapter, sorry it is a bit short but here it is! Tell me what you think, please! Leave a review..good or bad! ~Ash**


	11. Chapter 11: Stars

_**Stars**_

**AN: Fluffy chapter based on the song "Stars" sung by Russell Crow in Les Mis. I do not own the bolded lyrics. The bulk of the story is in Sam's point of view. There will be another chapter posted tomorrow since this is just a short fluffy chapter! But do enjoy still, it holds a good amount of information! **

Sam lay awake while both his sibling slept soundly around him. Castile had begun singing to Tara as she slept in her portable sleeper. As the angel's rough voice continued to sing, weirdly well, a lullaby Sam imagined a young Castiel's caretaker would sing to him, Sam began to understand a couple things he was confused about before.

**There, out in the darkness  
>a fugitive running<br>Fallen from god  
>Fallen from grace<br>God be my witness  
>I never shall yield<br>till we come face to face  
>till we come face to face<strong>

The fugitive had to be Abaddon, running from everyone trying to find her. She once was an angel, at least that is what I've read on Wikipedia about her. Guess it makes sense though; Lucifer once was an angel too.

I expected Castiel to want to find Abaddon as well because Dean wanted to find her, but to hear Castiel was so serious about this did shock me- how long has she been on the run?

He knows his way in the dark  
>Mine is the way of the Lord<br>Those who follow the path of the righteous  
>shall have their reward<br>and if they fall  
>As Lucifer fell<br>the flames  
>the sword!<p>

He says his way is God's, but Castiel has been down with us for years now, and God's been MIA for even longer, unless he is also tracking down Abaddon. But flames and swords- the Michael sword! Dean, e's always been Michael's true vessel. And now he's got the only thing that can kill Abaddon – again he is holding the only weapon to kill our problems. Why does it always have to be Dean?

**Stars  
>In your multitudes<br>Scarce to be counted  
>filling the darkness<br>with order and light  
>you are the sentinels<br>Silent and sure  
>keeping watch in the night<br>keeping watch in the night**

Maybe they are the key, Ashley is always going on about us listening to them, maybe she isn't nearly as crazy as we joke her to be. But Castiel could count them if he really wanted to, hell he could talk to these silent guards. Of course they have seen her; no one can hide from the sky and what's in them. The only think is hoping they talk about it.

**You know your place in the sky  
>you hold your course and your aim<br>and each in your season  
>Returns and returns<br>and is always the same  
>and if you fall as Lucifer fell<br>you fall in flame!**

But you have to be breathing, in a sense, to be a guard or solider. So, Heaven's standards are probably pretty high, so as long as Castiel can get to the right section of eyes, we know where Abaddon is! Dean can keep up his end of the bargain and toss her ass back into the eternal flames. Then we can get that mark off of Dean and get rid of the 7 Princes of Hell next! How come Castiel hasn't mentioned this already? Or did he?

**And so it must be, for so it is written  
>on the doorway to paradise<br>that those who falter and those who fall  
>must pay the price!<strong>

Paradise, we all deserve it! I mean we stopped the Apocalypse, killed countless demons, and saved so many people. Yeah we have all been to Hell at least once and Dean and I have seen the inside of Purgatory, but at the same time we have also been to Heaven. If you ask me, getting rid of Abaddon will earn a free pass for all Dean's family, even those not born, to Paradise!

**Lord, let me find him  
>that I may see him<br>Safe behind bars  
>I will never rest<br>till then  
>this I swear<br>this I swear by the stars!**

No Cas, Abaddon can't just be put in Heavenly lock up, we have to let Dean kill her, it's the only way we can free him and cure him of this damn curse!

* * *

><p>Ashley moved in her sleep, closer to Sam and breaking his concentration. "Cas?" Sam whispered once it was clear she was asleep again.<p>

"Yes Sam?" Castiel asked as he made his way over to the source of the noise.

"That song? Who is it about?"

Castiel sat down on the floor across from the dark green eyes that were still open despite how early it was. Before opening his mouth to answer he instead sifted through Sam's most recent thoughts. Castiel didn't want to abuse his power, so he rarely did this.

As he searched he could hear his own voice singing the song Michael once sang to him back before the dawn of time, when he was still Tara's age himself. "You were right about everything" Castiel whispered aloud as he went through Sam's take on the lyrics. "Abaddon has been on the run as long as Lucifer fell. They both jumped at the same time, just went down different paths and only one was special enough to get taught in Sunday schools."

"Would the stars know where she is?" Sam asked the distraught angel.

"Perhaps, if the Sentinels have been at their posts. I have intended to ask, all I need to do is find my way amongst the many towers. It will take time and I will not be able to watch you three during that time."

"Of course, Cas, I understand" Sam said before he began his quest. "Let us know if you need anything."

"Thank you, Sam."


	12. Chapter 12: Just a Little Pain

_**Just a Little Pain**_

Sam fell asleep as the sun rose above the horizons. It wasn't restful, but it was enough to recharge his battery. The song Castiel had sung to Tara continued to play on loop in Sam's dreams- this was big and Dean expected to do this alone. It didn't sit well with Sam; this has been known since before the first fish crawled out of the ocean, before Castiel was even able to hold up his issued weapon.

The ill-feelings Sam felt must have also translated to how he slept. His movements woke Ashley up soon after the sunlight was coming into the dark room. She was relieved to see Dean was still asleep when she glanced over to make sure Tara was still alright. Upon seeing her baby girl was still asleep for now, Ashley dragged herself out of bed to the shower.

As she removed her shirt, her eyes caught on the lines littering her stomach, sides, and chest. Each one had a story of their own and each was still clear in mind, but none clearer than the new gash on her thigh. While Ashley removed her shorts, her mind went right back to what happened. It was almost right after Sam left to go back and talk to Dean; her back started to hurt, it was almost right away. The pain was as intense as when she first woke up in the hospital and as quickly as pain could possibly manifest. The quickest way to fix the sudden pain sending her to her knees was to create a new pain. _Sam is going to be pissed, I could have easily called out and he would have heard me, but then I would be forced to go back to my exercises which mean I'd be stuck depending on Dean again. _

When she finally came back to the realization she was standing naked in the bathroom, Ashley couldn't help but feel ashamed again. She was completely flawed, everything was wrong with her- from head to toe. "I'm me" she sighed as she pulled out the hair dye she put under the sink. "Time to show it."

* * *

><p>Sam woke up to find the room completely empty except for him and the shower running. "Ash?" he called out, forcing his vocal cords to also wake up.<p>

"Yeah, everything okay, Sammy?" she called out from the steamed bathroom.

"Yeah, just checking" Sam yawned. "You feeling okay?"

"I'm fine" she answered as she came out in a towel.

Sam couldn't remember the last time he saw the scars all over Ashley's body. He had fixed up most of her injuries with the help of Dean, but even still the marks shocked Sam. "Why'd you do it, Ash?" he sighed as he turned so Ashley could get dressed.

"My back started hurting, still is actually" she admitted sheepishly.

"What, are you okay?" Sam said snapping his head around to look at his sister.

"Do I look okay?" she whimpered as she tried to straighten up again.

"Got a case!" Ben said coming into the room. "Whoa, you okay?" he asked once he saw the tears running down Ashley's face and the look of fear on Sam's.

"Fine, hun" Ashley managed to get out "we'll be out in a bit to look at the file."

* * *

><p>Sam glanced over the file Ben put together, while he gave Ashley a cliff notes version of what he dug up in Nevada. It was a clear demon case, but it seemed to be a large scale operation. "So these people are found dead, ripped to shreds?" she clarified while she cooked for Justin and Tara.<p>

"Yeah, 10 years after hitting the happiness lotto" Ben mumbled around his full mouth.

"One guy, complete loser, got head cheerleader. Another went from panhandler to millionaire in two seconds flat-"

"Alright, I get the idea" Ashley snapped as another pain shot up her spine and down her arm. "How many dumbasses total?"

"Around 50" Ben replied curtly as he looked Ashely up and down for a clue to her behavior.

"This is big, we're gonna need help" Sam spoke up from behind Ben. "This has to be more than one demon making deals."

"It's called Sin City for a reason" Ben laughed as he turned to look at his uncle. "So, we in?"

"Yup. I'll call a couple hunters, see who wants to road trip to Vegas" Ashley answered before Sam could say she was staying home on this one.

"Where's Dean?" Sam realized once the room was silent. "He'd be jumping up and down to hear we had a possible job in Vegas."

"He was still asleep when I got up" Ashley shrugged as she sat down to feed Tara her stewed apples and small bites of Ego Waffles.

"He was gone when I got up. Car was here still and Tara was still chilling with Justin in our room."

"Hm" Sam shrugged "couldn't have gone far."

Ben secretly hoped Sam was right. As much as Dean was being a dick right now, he was still his dad. He had spent most of his life hoping for a father, he wasn't ready to just let him walk off again. "Should we go find him?" The question more so was Ben's own sanity then anyone else's. He knew Sam and Ashley wouldn't want anything to do with him right now.

"He'll come back soon, if not we'll find him tomorrow" Sam said getting up from the side table in Ben and Justin's room.

Ashley slowly followed Sam back to their room and lowered herself down on the edge of their bed.

"It's hurting again, Sammy" she whispered as he sat down next to her.

"Go take a bath, and then we'll start working your back. How about a walk instead" Sam smiled.

"Sure" she replied standing up. "Did you even notice?"

"Yup, you went brown this time, my shade" he said closing the door to their room behind him.

**AN: Sorry it took so long, I came home for the holiday, which meant I had to actually appear to be part of the family! Here is the next part, tell me what you think, if you liked it, and anything else you want to tell me! ~Ash**


	13. Chapter 13: Moving On

_**Moving On**_

Ashley couldn't help but smile at the scene in front of her- Sam had Tara sitting on his shoulders while holding Justin's right hand and Ben held Justin's left. They were swinging him every couple steps forward. She was slowly bringing up the rear, but she felt better just watching her family be normal. The only thing missing now was pre-mark Dean and Castiel missing most references. Dean, maybe they should look for him. It wasn't normal for him to leave without Baby or to make sure Tara was pacified but not to say goodbye.

Ashley hadn't noticed she stopped walking until Sam was standing in her face, Tara now in Ben's arms. "Hey, you okay?"

"Huh? Yeah, I'm fine. I just think we should check up on Dean, make sure he's not dead in a ditch" she said, now fully back in the present.

Sam slipped an arm around Ashley's thin waist and pulled her closer to help support her. They both began walking slowly towards where Ben and Justin were waiting. "I already did" Sam admitted. "He answered, but as soon as I opened my mouth, Dean hung up on me."

Ashley remained silent for a few moments while she thought everything over. If Dean hung up only after he heard it was Sam, means he was super busy doing something big. "What the hell is he up to now?"

"We had that talk last night before you got in" Sam answered as he motioned for Ben to keep going with Justin. "He's got a deal laid out in front of him, a lot on his plate."

"I'd be worried if he didn't, might starve from small helpings of crazy" she chuckled as she slowly lowered herself to sit on the bench now in front of them.

"You going to tell me or am I gonna have to dig it out of you?" she smiled as she took Tara from Sam.

"Met up with five of the seven Princes of Hell, they offered to get rid of the mark once he gets rid of the remaining knights of Hell. They'll even supply the blade."

"Abaddon? But there hasn't been a sign of that bi- uh, witch in a while" Ashley rationalized. "Sounds like a one sided deal on their part- making Dean their bi- dang, I mean slave."

Sam smiled at the struggle Ashley had not to have a slip of the tongue in front of her young daughter. "Castiel is looking already, apparently this is another one of those 'written since the dawn of time' destiny things. Dean's also searching, but he has no idea its written this way" Sam announced.

"Of course he is" she sighed as she stood up to stand in front of Sam. "Guess it's you, me, and Ben on this Sin City case. I'll call Mom to see if she wants to babysit.

"One more thing Ash" Sam said standing up to face Ashley. "I gotta apologize for something."

"For what?" she replied with a cocked head.

"Not supporting your belief in there was something else to the stars" he answered with his puppy dog eyes.

"They are just stars" she smiled sadly as Tara wrapped her arms around Ashley's neck.

"No, no you're wrong! They are guards- Heavenly Sentinel's. They sit and watch everything in their towers."

Ashley couldn't help but laugh at how silly Sam looked and sounded right now. She believed that theory years ago, got ridiculed by both brothers, her father, and even Bobby for that thought. She was young and searching desperately for a good thought in the world. "I'm not falling for that again, Sammy" she admitted as she began her walk back home.

"Dammit, Ash! Listen to me, tonight when Castiel comes to sit with Tara, listen to the lullaby. Please?"

"Fine Sammy. Get the boys, we are going home. Tell Dean we're taking the Impala as well."

* * *

><p>After Justin was packed and in bed for the night, Sam turned in early so he could do most of the drive back down to San Diego before needing a break. He felt weird leaving the bed closest to the door empty with both Ashley and Tara in the room, so he took that bed for the night. Ashley sat down on the bed next to the one Sam had spread out on. She promised Sam she would listen to Castiel's lullaby to Tara, so she stayed up just waiting to hear for the flutter of wings announcing he came for a visit. Finally the sound filled the room and Castiel was standing in the doorway across from Ashley. "Hey Cas," she whispered "how have you been?"<p>

"Just fine, thank you Ashley" Castiel answered.

"How are you? Is your back alright?"

"No, it's not" she sniffled "can you help yet?"

"Yes" Castiel answered before placing two fingers on her forehead.

No matter how many times she was healed by an angel, Ashley couldn't get over the feeling and the dizzy sensation that followed. A soon as Castiel removed his fingers from her forehead, she laid back on a now completely pain free back. "We're going back to San Diego tomorrow; keep an eye on Dean for me?"

"Of course" Castiel smiled as he went over to where Tara was sleeping. As he bent over Tara, he began to sing the song she assumed Sam was talking about. _My God, _she thought to herself as she drifted off to sleep _Sam was telling the truth. I was right those years ago, even when everyone laughed at me._

**AN: Hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving! Sorry it took a little longer to update this time around, but here it is! Tell me how it is and anything else you want to tell me! **


	14. Chapter 14: Gifts on the Road

_**Gifts on the Road**_

Sam barreled down the two lanes highway with most of his family in the car. He couldn't help but feel weird about leaving Dean behind, but Sam couldn't do anything about it. When he called Dean to tell him about the case Ben found, it seemed like he could care less. So now, Sam is in charge of making sure what is left of his family stays in one piece; the heavy weight once on Dean's shoulders has been moved down the line and Sam wasn't so sure he was ready.

"What now?" Ben spoke up from the seat behind Ashley's.

"Go home, regroup then hop in the Mustang and go to Vegas" Ashley responded sweetly.

"What about Papa?" Justin mumbled as he stared out he driver's side window.

"He's fine" Sam spoke up as he relaxed more into the seat behind the wheel. "He'll meet up with us eventually." Sam put his unlaced boot up on the door pane, just like Dean often did and continued to drive over the speed limit to home.

"But I miss him" Justin sniffles as he collapsed against the door frame.

"I know, Tiger," Sam sighed as he snuck a hand back to rub Justin's leg "just try to sleep some."

Ashley glanced over her shoulder at Sam. He was the family head now, and he didn't look so comfortable in his skin anymore. He was used to being taken care of, now he had to be the caretaker, the one watching out for herself as well as the three kids in the backseat. "It's going to be alright" she whispered into Sam's ear as she scooted into his side.

"Yeah, doubt that."

* * *

><p>Ashley eased the black Impala up the driveway, she was happy to see her Mom sitting on the porch reading a book. No matter how many times she sees her mom or hears her voice, Ashley couldn't completely wrap her head around the fact that she was alive and home to stay.<p>

Before getting out of the car, Ashley looked around at her sleeping family in the car with her. Sam had his head resting on his arm on the windowsill, Ben was slumped down in his seat, and Justin was curled up into himself with his head eating on the edge of Tara's car seat. Ashley felt a smile take over her entire face before she poked her brother next to her. "Rise and shine" she sang as she slapped Ben's thigh.

"Mm, I'll be right out" Ben mumbled as he unhooked Tara's straps.

"Take your time" Sam yawned as he got out picking up Justin so Ashley could grab Tara.

"Hey Mom" Ashley smiled as she hugged the woman coming down the driveway with the one free arm she had left.

"Hey baby" she smiled "how is everyone?"

"Fine Mom" Sam said as he slung an arm over his mother's shoulder. "Dean's alright for now, I think."

"Ah, that boy" she muttered sadly into Sam's chest. "Sure he will be fine."

"Hope you're right" Ben yawned as he walked past his grandmother and into the house.

"Right" Sam said as he followed a sulking teen into the house with his arms around Justin's back.

* * *

><p>After spending one night in their own bed's Ben, Sam, and Ashley said their goodbyes and piled into the dark blue Mustang. "Ready for a little fun on the side?" Ben chuckled as Ashley headed for the highway that'll take them into Vegas.<p>

"Reminds me," Sam cleared his throat "I got something for you." After digging around in the bag at his feet for a few moments, Sam pulled out a rectangular envelope. It was haphazardly wrapped in a plain brown paper bag cut for the occasion. In neat capital letters, Sam had written Ben's name on the front. He continued to look at it for a little while longer before turning around to face his nephew. "Your dad asked me to make this for you a couple weeks ago. He wanted to give it to you sometime himself, but uh, I think this is a good time."

Ashley glanced up in the rear view mirror right as Ben tore a corner on the paper.

"It that-?" she asked with a smirk.

"-a fake ID!" Ben exclaimed.

"Ah, boy's first" she smiled. "Guess we're going out once we finish this shit."

"That's the plan" Sam smiled back at Ben then over at his sister. "No kids to take care of, going off the rails!"

"But business first" Ashley said in her best mother voice as she pulled into a motel just a few blocks away from the strip.

Sam went in to the office to book a room while Ashley read up on the finger details Ben scraped together. "Alright, so first one you found was..?"

"1982" Ben answered "then 1985, '87, 1991, '93, '94, '97, '99, whit load in 2000 and so on."

"Got a room," Sam said leaning into Ashley's open window "260."

"Cool, meet you there" Ashley replied putting the car back in gear.

* * *

><p>Ashley walked out of the bathroom holding her pencil skirt for Sam to zip up. "Alright Ben, you man the fort" she ordered as she slipped on her heels. "See if you can find the next possible victims, we'll call with news." She turned to finish tying Sam's tie while Ben muttered something about wanting to go out, but stopped suddenly when Sam shot a look over Ashley's shoulder. "Be back for dinner" she smiled as she headed out the door and into the Mustang.<p>

"You stay here till we are back" Sam warned as he closed the door behind him.

Ben didn't entirely listen to his two guardians; as soon as the Mustang was out of the parking lot he reached for his phone. He knew better than to leave the motel room while the Winchesters were on a case, so instead he shut the laptop and pulled up Dean's contact. "I'll look for victims later" Ben mumbled as he put the phone to his ear.

_Yeah_ came the familiar voice, clearly distracted as he answered right before his voice mail did. _Ben, you okay? _

"H-hey Dad," Ben stammered "yeah I'm good."

T_hen what's up? Something wrong with Sam or Ash?_

_"_What, no" Ben said into the phone "can't I call my father if I want to?"

Y_our right, I'm sorry Ben. What's up?_

"Nothing," Ben responded, much calmer now that Dean was willing to talk. "I wanna say thanks though."

_For what, exactly? _

"For the ID. Sam gave it to me today so we can go out once this case is done."

_Sure, yeah. You're welcome. _

Ben couldn't help but feel those words were just empty sounds filling a necessary void. Without even saying goodbye he pulled the phone away from his face and stared at the screen. This wasn't the same man who spent a year living with him and his mom, the same man who slept with his sister to keep her personal demons from destroying her. As a single tear rolled down his cheek and his father called out his name, Ben hit the red button at the bottom of his screen and ended the call. "Guess I got research to do" Ben sniffles as he turned on the laptop already put on the table.

**AN: Sorry, finals week is starting to kick my butt and I'm not even there yet. Tell me what you think, I beg of you! Always deeply appreciated and I promise I will listen! ~Ash**


	15. Chapter 15: Like Father, Like Son

_**Like Father, Like Son**_

**AN: Just a fluffy interlude chapter until I can get the next one typed up! Tell me what you think!**

Sam and Ashley came into the small motel room still discussing where the crossroads demon could be when they both stopped short. Ben had fallen asleep with the laptop still open on his lap, his cellphone was buzzing next to him. So as Sam picked up the computer Ashley reached for it. "It's Dean, he's called sixteen times now" she gasped as she started to flip through the messages.

"Ben got a couple names we can check out in the morning" Sam said over his shoulder, even though Ashley was still listening to the messages Dean left for Ben. "Everything okay with Dean?" Sam whispered.

"Yeah, Ben just called and then hung up on him. Poor kid" Ashley said as she walked over to where Sam was sitting.

"He'll be fine tomorrow" Sam said, allowing Ashley to sit on his lap. "We'll go track down these dumbasses and fight off some hellhounds."

"You're right" she sighed as she walked towards the motel room door. "What do ya' want to eat?"

"Just a salad," he smiled as he loosened his tie "get him a burger."

"Sure" she said closing the door.

Sam looked over at Ben and lingered on his silent, sleeping face. The kid looked nothing like Dean physically- he had every bit of his mother's features, but they weren't feminine in the least. What mirrored his father was his mannerisms, actions, and preferences.

Even now, with Ben asleep on the stiff motel sheets, he slept just like Dean did. Feet crossed at the ankle, arms closed low on his chest, and head falling off to the side. Sam felt his heart stiffen for his brother, but he couldn't give in and pick up the phone, not again, not like Den. Dean walked out- this was Sam's job now. "Hey" Sam called out "no sleeping on the job. Tell me what you got!"


	16. Chapter 16: Keeping Hounds at Bay

_**Keeping Hounds at Bay**_

Ben stood behind his two guardians while they discussed how best to convince this man they could help. He was nervous, Ben hadn't had the pleasure of confronting a hellhound yet and he oddly wasn't looking forward to it. "Alright," Ashley sighed, breaking into Ben's daydream "Ben you stay with Sam here, I'll go get the demon after we explain everything to this wacko."

"Sure" Ben acknowledged as he took a step up. "After you."

Sam pounded on the door and pleaded with the hallucinating neurosurgeon to let him in to help. "We aren't here to hurt you, we know what you did and we can keep them out for a while longer."

"We aren't here to hurt you, we know what you did and we can help! The dogs are coming and we can keep them out for a while longer."

The man opened the door just a crack to peer out at the source of reasoning. He was completely mortified and his eyes were about to pop out of his head. "W-who are you?" he stuttered as he looked around at the three faces staring back at him.

"My name is Sam, this is my sister Ashley and nephew Ben" he introduced everyone. "We are hunters, please let us help you."

"Alright" the man said opening the door to allow the giant to pass through, followed by the two smaller adults. "What can I do?"

"Nothing" Sam answered as he set out lining the windows with gofer dust. "Just stay right here" Ben ordered as he began to make a circle with the same stuff.

"I-in a ring of dirt?!" the surgeon screeched.

"Yes, stay in the circle, no matter what" Ben instructed as he also stepped in.

"This is ridiculous!" he shouted as he began to pace.

"Look, Jeff" Ashley spoke up "it's a circle of dirt! You got yourself in this mess and yet I'm cleaning it up."

Both Sam and Ben looked over at Ashley, confused as to why she suddenly lost her cool, which was more like Dean than her. She must have caught their worry, because she bowed her head before going back out the front door to summon the crossroad demon.

* * *

><p><strong>Ashley<strong>

I couldn't help but feel nervous about putting my picture in the box, but I had to stop the demon making deals in this city. It must have been a busy night though, because I had enough time to relax against the hood of my car and finish off a beer before I head the sensual voice of a salesman behind me.

"A Winchester, if I knew I would have come right over."

"Don't want you losing any customers" I purred as I jumped off the hood of my car. The man was possessing seemed to be about my age, but definitely in shape more than I was. There were bulges under his tight shirt that I wish I could run my hands over.

"What can I do for the lovely Ashley Winchester? Perhaps cure Dean? Or bring a Papa back to life?"

I struggled with how close he was to me, how much I wanted to kiss him right now- but _he's demon just riding around in this poor masterpiece_. "No," I finally managed out around my tied tongue "What I want instead is to know how many hunks like you are giving people their dreams?"

He seemed almost ready to spout the answer, when his mental brain gave the order to shut his trap. _Guess he remembered I am a Winchester_.

"Ah, you're good, but I can't do that" he smiled as he took a step closer to me.

"Fair enough, how about you let Dr. Brain out of his deal?" I challenged. "He's willing to drop the scalpel for good."

The demon continued to work me over, head to toe while I assume he thought about what I offered. Each time his eyes passed over my waist, I had to resist the overwhelming urge to reach for my angel blade. "Tell you what" he chuckled "I'll make a deal with you, Ash."

"Only my family can call me that" she barked. "Now, the details?" she asked, back in a friendly tone.

"Dr. Brain is out of his deal, as well as any contracts I hold and they lose all benefits. But, you leave here without killing, trapping, or sending me back to Hell."

He honestly looked frightened for his life at that moment and I couldn't help but milk the situation, since it was clearly in my favor. I reached for the blade and held it an angle against his throat. "A list of demons doing deals and I'm going my own way, so are you."

* * *

><p><strong>Sam<strong>

Jeff said the howling was getting louder when my phone began to ring. "Got it?" I asked Ben as I pocketed my gun and reached for my phone.

"Yup" he answered as he pointed his weapon on the door.

"Yeah, Ash."

_I got a list and released a few people from their contracts. I also got a list of other dealers._

"So, Jeff?" I asked as I turned back to look at him.

_Good, but no longer a doctor. I'll come pick you up in a few, have to clean myself up._

"Alright, good" I said stepping out of the circle. "Clean up what, exactly?"

_Blood and shame of breaking a deal _she answered before hanging up.

* * *

><p>Once Sam and Ashley were both asleep on the bed closest to the door, Ben grabbed his phone and went into the bathroom. The phone was ringing before Ben even realized he had dialed the phone number.<p>

_Yeah, Ben! The hell? _Dean's voice yelled through the phone. _Don't you ever do that again!_

"Sorry, but-"

_I know, I'm sorry. Look, I'm here, I'm me, what's up?_

"Why'd you leave Baby? Where are you?"

_I left her so you could get home. I got her, she's in Florida._

"You're going to come home, right?" Ben asked, trying to hold back tears. Before Ben could hear the answer, he heard Ashley calling out his name. He didn't want to go, but he knew he had to go before Ashley found him talking to Dean again. "Gotta go, call later" he hurried before hanging up.

"Sorry kid" Dean said to himself once the phone call was ended. "Don't think so."

* * *

><p>Ben tagged along with Sam to go to one crossroad while Ashley went on her own to the same one where she met that cutie and sliced his throat with an angel blade. She tossed in new materials and waited for the next demons to show up.<p>

"Winchester" a female spoke up next to Ashley.

"It's Ashley, actually" she smiled. "I want Bobby back."

"I don't feel like dealing out contracts to your or anyone else close to you" she sneered.

"I figured" she shrugged as she sent the blade deep into her chest. "Next!"

Sam paced while the crossroad demon he and Ben summoned considered the deal.

"So, you want John? I'll give you five years" the young demon suggested.

Sam stopped pacing and gave Ben the signal to stop the demon with the demon blade. "Really, only five years?" Ben asked.

"Dean got 1, she liked me" Sam chuckled as he dug up the box and replaced the objects in the box.

**AN: I want to know what you think, please tell me! Hope this story is entertaining you as much as it is me! Thank you all for continuing to read my story! Deeply appreciated! ~Ash**


	17. Chapter 17: A Cry for Help

_**A Cry for Help**_

Both Sam and Ashley continued on their pattern for a few more hours, wiping out the complete list the first, sexy crossroads demon gave them. Ashley was drained physically and emotionally by the tenth demon she knifed in the chest. She fell on the dirty ground once her most recent victim had stopped glowing and sparkling at her feet.

_This is not the person I want to be for Tara_ she thought as she took another gulp out of the large flask tucked into her bra. _I am a mother, not a killer. What's wrong with me? _ "I should check on Sam" she slurred as she pulled her phone out of her back pocket she was sitting on.

_Yeah_ her brother's voice came through the speaker.

"You good over there?" she asked as she opened the top on her flask again.

_Yeah, got them all done with minor scratches. You got everything done too?_

"Yeah," she answered once she swallowed the latest mouthful "am I on speaker?"

_No, why?_

"Good. Sammy, I'm not doin' too good right now" she sniffled. "I need help, but I don't want Ben knowing."

_Sure, I'll walk back and pick up the car. I'll have Ben wait by the phone._

"Thanks Sammy" she whispered before hanging up the phone.

* * *

><p>Ashley was almost brought to tears again when she saw Sam running towards her. She had finished off her entire flask, but the adrenaline from killing ten demons and finishing the case kept her brain focused. She still held the angel blade tight, but it wasn't out of fear or for defense, and Sam knew the reason as soon as he got close enough to see the silver stained red blade.<p>

"Ash, you're safe, drop it" he coaxed as he tried to keep all inclination of terror out of his voice. Sure, he has done this with his sister tons of times- even once after he left for Stanford, but this was the first time he had no one to fall back on if he needed to. "Come on, you don't need something sharp in your hand right now" he begged as he closed his own large hand over her smaller fist.

"I broke, Sammy" she sobbed as she looked down at his hand over hers.

"What? You, did you make a deal?" he shrieked, now completely mortified that he couldn't save Ashley this time. "Please tell me-"

"- no Sammy, I didn't," she answered before he could finish begging "but I almost did. I almost left Justin and Tara without a mother, almost made Ben lose another one to a demon!"

Sam felt every muscle relax under his now clammy skin and sank down to sit next to Ashley. "Almost doesn't count" he whispered as he pulled her into his side. "I've almost killed you, almost left my family thousands of times, and almost gone crazy. But here you are, here I am, and no straight jacket- doesn't mean anything, but a story to add to our collection."

Sam was right, Ashley just wasn't thinking about it that way. She drowned her fears of failure in hot whiskey, which only added to the fire. The fear boiled over once the last demon fell to the ground and consumed the last bit of rationality she had. "Alright" she sniffled as she relaxed her hand under Sam's. "Okay."

"Good" he sighed as he removed the blade from her open hand. "You ready to get out of here?"

He didn't wait for an answer or even an acknowledgement before he tucked the blade into his inside jacket pocket and picked Ashley up bridal style to go back to the car. She fell asleep almost as soon as Sam started driving. _Crisis adverted_ he praised himself once he saw Ashley's sleeping face on his lap. _I'm not ready for this...I'm not ready to be figure head for this family. We are too fucked up for my ability. _As Sam parked the car, he saw Ben run out, worried about what was going on with Ashley. "She's fine" Sam told Ben as he carried Ashley into the room.

"What happened?" Ben asked as he closed the door behind Sam.

"Just lost control for a second, emotions clouded her judgments" Sam answered frankly. Ashley had asked him not to tell Ben, but Sam felt it was important for everyone to be on the same page. He wouldn't tell Ben everything, that was Ashley's place, but Sam did explain how she almost made a deal and was very upset about that.

"But she didn't" he rationalized. "She's not at fault!"

"She knows that now" Sam smiled as he turned on the TV. "You pick."

* * *

><p>Sam and Ashley took the afternoon to make sure the case was finished and the list of victims the hunky demon gave them was unhappy and alive. Ashley could feel Sam's eyes watching her every move, and it was starting to get under her skin. "I'm not going to just dissolve into tears, you can take a step back" she growled when Sam followed Ashley towards the driver's side of the car instead of getting in on his side. "I'm fine, no knife on me! No flask!"<p>

"Right, sorry" Sam mumbled as he went back around the car.

"Look, Sammy" she sighed before getting into the car "I am thankful you were there for me last night, but it's today now, shows over."

"Until a re-run comes on, and how do I know you will tell me?"

Ashley thought about Sam's question and judged just how freaked he really was by the look on his face. It was set into a soft glare, his eyes squinted, and lips pressed into a line. "I'll always tell you, even if you decide to almost leave us again" she promised as she sat down in the car. "But now it's time to show Ben how to party, Winchester style" she smiled.


	18. Chapter 18: Long Gone

_**Long Gone**_

As promised, as soon as Sam and Ashley left to check on victims Ben went to call Dean and see how he was doing when the phone kept ringing, Ben felt his heart get heavier and heavier, until it finally his stomach as Dean's voicemail message began to play. _This is Dean's other other cell, so you know what to do. If you've got something, call my son Ben, he'll be able to help. 619-555-2451_

"No!" Ben yelled when the call ended before he had the chance to leave his father a message. Ben had just found his dad and now he was gone to do whatever he was doing with no back up. Ben was an orphan living with his aunt and uncle now, and was expected to do jobs intended for his father.

"No, what?" Sam asked as he opened the door. They had just pulled up and gotten out of the car when they heard Ben's shout.

"Dean, he's not coming back" he replied angrily.

"How do you know?" Ashley asked, walking up to put her hands on Ben's shoulders in an attempt to calm him down. She was surprised to find he was shaking as much as he was.

"Listen" he said, thrusting his once again ringing phone in Ashley's face. She grabbed it quickly and put it on speaker. Sam came over to where Ben and Ashley were standing and listened to the recording. _This is Dean's other other cell, so you know what to do. If you've got something, call my son Ben, he'll be able to help. 619-555-2451_

Ashley stared at the phone after the call was ended in complete shock. He just up and left, didn't even say goodbye to Ben or her and Sam. He was gone and doing this all on his own. When she was able to look up from Ben's phone in her hand, she was Sam was now pacing the small room while he ran a shaky hand through his long hair and Ben was chewing on his bottom lip, staring back at her. "He pulled a Dad" she muttered. "He did exactly what Dad did before we came to pick you up. How could he?"

Sam stopped pacing when Ashely asked the question. "Castiel," he called out. "I know you are busy talking to Sentinels, but can you take a break?" The room was filled with a tense awkward silence, until the sound signaling Castiel had obliged broke through like a fog light.

"More than happy to, how are you Sam?" Castiel asked with a big smile on his face.

"Aren't you in a good mood" Ashley commented as she handed Ben back his phone.

"I am, I located Abaddon in Florida thanks to the, actually very lonely, guards. I also made a couple new friends- not that I would ever need more than you and your family."

"That's great, Cas" Ashley smiled, genuinely happy he found more company. "It's good to have more than a handful."

"But, got some bad news we hope you can help with" Sam interrupted.

"Dean, correct?" Castiel guessed.

"Yup. Seems he's gone for good with no intents to come back, do you know where he could be?"

"No, he has disappeared" Castiel answered regretfully. "Last place I saw him was in a tattoo parlor. The car he was using is still parked at the house he was staying in."

"Dammit" Ben sighed as he sat down on the foot of his bed.

"He will be fine, Ben" Sam addressed the boy. "Dean is the best hunter, no way anything is gonna get the jump on him."

Ben acknowledged that as truth, but he was mostly angry Dean left without goodbye.

"But we are still going out tonight" Sam half smiled. "You coming?"

"Sure" Ben answered with a forced smile. "It is Vegas" he shrugged.

"Dean would be proud of that statement" Castiel nodded before he left the three Winchesters.

"Strip clubs and bars- anything else you wanna do?" Ashley asked from the bathroom while she changed out of her fed suit.

"I'm trusting you guys" Ben admitted as he caught the strip of condoms and singles Sam threw at him.

"Oh you're mistaken" both Sam and Ashley chuckled at the same time.

**AN: I am so sorry it took me this long, I just got back home from school and was catapulted into work and helping out my family. This chapter is short, I will try and post another soon, but we have hit the war-zone of the soaked notebook I told you all about earlier, which also means we are nearing the end of the Ashley Winchester saga. Stay tuned, and again sorry for delays and short chapters!**


	19. Chapter 19: Out all night

_**Out all Night**_

**Ashley**

I sat back in the corner booth and watched as Sam showed Ben how we would always hustle pool. The stakes were higher because we were in Vegas, bit Sam was cleaning up better than ever, probably because he appeared to be teaching his boy on a few too many longnecks. Sam whispered something to Ben, and that is when I noticed it was time to pay the tab and get ready to run.

"So what do you think? Tease show next?" I joked as I put my arm around his shoulders.

"Aren't you going to be uncomfortable there? You are outnumbered and I don't wanna sideline you from tonight" Ben posed while we waited out front for Sam to strong arm his coned money from the large bar dwellers he just out smarted.

"Don't you worry about me" I smirked. "Actually last time I ran away and ended up here I was way underage. We found a place tucked away in a corner alley that uh, caters to both sexes very nicely. I will have my own fun while you two get yours."

Before Ben could express what was on his mind, Sam darted out the front door like a fire was lit behind him. "That was difficult, but all done. Did you pay the tab?" he asked me.

"Yeah, taken care of and ready to go to Flashers and Cheetahs?"

"Dude, I haven't heard that name in forever. We had quite the night the three of us there."

"Yeah, you're welcome for that" I teased.

"Yeah, we still got hell from Dad when he caught up" he chuckled.

"Yeah, but it was worth it in the end. Wouldn't deter me from running away again. But you guys ready?" Ben's face lit up like the sun when I suggested we all head down to the club. Sure, he never wanted to admit that he was having fun tonight, but he was excited and truly looking forward to the rest of what was to come. I'm sure it was the beer he chugged almost as soon as we got to the bar, but I wasn't going to ask questions.

"How long ago were you guys here?" Ben asked from next to Sam.

"Uh, couple years before I left," he thought "so she was about 18, maybe 19."

"Dude! How did you get out here?" he asked me from around Sam's large body.

"I hitched a ride with a truck driver one night. I was pissed at Sam for some reason and Dean was riding my ass for something else, so when John left on a case I ditched them both. I heard they got into a good bit of trouble for letting me out of their sights, but I didn't care. Once I found someone willing to pick up a hitch-hiker, I just asked them to drop me off at the next big city they were passing through. Lucky me this guy was going to Vegas. So after a couple weeks of being out here on my own, Dean and Sam tracked me down and came out here. Actually it was the first long trip Dean took Baby on, and they decided to stay out here with me for a bit."

"Eh, less I decided, more so Dean demanded once he figured we had some extra time" Sam interjected.

"Still, I don't recall you fighting him too much" I smiled up at him. "Anywho, we popped around the city for a long while, had a lot of fun and actually knocked out a couple spirits. That's how we found this place actually. One of the victims worked here" I said as we found ourselves right outside the front door of Flashers and Cheetahs.

* * *

><p>Ben instantly found himself gravitating towards a voluptuous red head by the name of Jasmyn. Sam's eye was caught by Bridget, a nice blond with a large chest and quickly followed her into the private rooms located in the back. Ashley however, merely enjoyed watching the male flash dancers in front of her and the occasional lap dance. Once she was even pulled up on stage by one of the dancers and pulled in to dance with him in the cage.<p>

Sam, Ashley, and Ben each got the happy ending they all desired in the club and met back at the bar. Ashley was first to finish her fun and found herself ordering Tequila, of all things. "Was it at least a good ending?" the young bartender asked her.

"Yeah" Ashley smiled back at the pretty blond serving everyone their drinks. "Just trying to forget my stress for a little bit longer." When Ashley looked back up at the blond, she saw a flash of red disappear in her eyes. _Must be the Patron _she thought as she shook her head and ordered up another.

"Damn, was it that bad?" Sam chuckled from behind her.

"I'm still vertical and it hurts to walk- it was beyond amazing, Sammy" she sighed contently. "Poor woman who had to ride you alright?"

"I think so, she did leave pretty soon after" he shrugged.

"Shame" she slurred as she knocked back another shot. Sam gave his little sister a half smile and ordered the same as she was having. "Whoa buddy," she commented "someone's gotta carry me back."

"Won't be me. Ben'll do it!" Sam handed responsibility as he slapped ben on the shoulder.

"Yeah, do what?" he said, sitting down on Ashley's other side.

"Nothing, only kidding" she answered after sipping the beer now in front of her. "Enjoy yourself?"

"God yes" he beamed, taking a shot of Patron Sam handed him. "But I am beat, how much more do we have planned for tonight?"

"Good" Ashley and Sam both sighed at the same time, earning a confused look from Ben.

"I thought I was gonna have to ditch you guys" Ashley continued. "Ready?"

Sam nodded as he helped Ashley get steady on her feet. Ben watched from the spotless mirror behind the bar with admiration as Sam slipped an arm around her back. He was always jealous of the relationship Ashley had with both her brothers and they had with each other.

"Come on, you coming?" Ashley asked Ben once she realized he wasn't following suit.

"Yeah, sorry" he whispered. "After you" he smiled.

* * *

><p>Ben spent most of the night in the bathroom, puking his guts out. <em>How could Ashley and Sam be fine? They drank three times as much as I did, easy!<em>

He silently turned off the bathroom light and snuck back into his own bed, so as not to wake up his two snoring guardians. Sam was on his side facing Ashley as she slept on her back with her head resting on Sam's bicep instead of the pillow. When he heard a phone buzzing on the nightstand his heart skipped a beat, but he couldn't will himself to move from where he just got comfortable again.

"Yeah?" Ashley murmured into the phone still mostly asleep. She hadn't moved too much from her sleeping position, but she already sounded better than Ben felt.

"Dean?" she screeched almost out of nowhere. "Where? I-is he okay?"

Both Ben and Sam sat up totally at the sound of Dean's name being screamed. "Ash? What is it?" Sam asked his now crying sister.

"A-are you sure?" she asked the other person on the phone. Apparently it wasn't the answer she wanted to hear, because next thing Sam and Ben knew she had chucked the phone against the wall and was now screaming like she never had before.

**AN: Again, so sorry for the long break in between chapter, I will try my darnedest to get another out soon. The end is neigh, hope everyone is ready for it. I am working on another story that follows the series exactly starting from the Pilot on through with a twin..if you're interested, keep an eye out for it. Enjoy and tell me what you think!**


	20. Chapter 20: Fighting for Information

_**Fighting for Information**_

**Ben**

All she kept saying was "we have to go home now, we have to". She had stopped screaming finally, but now all she was doing was whimpering and sobbing into Sam's chest. Every time he made a move to go or even leave her for a second she would start crying again, poor guy couldn't even go to the bathroom at first. When we realized she wasn't going to be of much help answering questions, I walked to the other side of the room to get her phone she chucked at the drywall. It hit with so much force there were crumbs of plaster on the old carpet and a nice sized dent at the impact zone- I have to remember not to piss her off with something in her hand. Unfortunately, the phone was toast- her screen was now in a pile of black glass by the wall and the computer inside of the phone was dangling by a single wire out the front.

"Dammit" Sam swore under his breath as he leaned back against the headboard once he saw the disaster. "Call Mom" Sam suggested as he picked up his own probably to call Dean.

"And say what?" I asked right as he put his phone to his ear.

"Just check in, see if she has heard anything and if not tell her we'll be home tomorrow."

No news came of the phone calls, so we packed up while Ashley slept and got ready to hit the road back to San Diego. "What do you think it was about?" I whispered as Sam picked Ashley up. He struggled a little, must be because he is getting older but no matter what, I can imagine him doing it until Ashley needed it no more.

"No way to know until she calms down. I just hope it's something manageable with Dean" he sighed as he put her down in the backseat. "Need any coffee?"

"No," I answered "just some Advil." My head was still pounding in rhythm with my heart and every step, breath, noise, or speck of light made it worse. "Hangovers are a bitch!"

Sam looked over at me like he was about to burst out laughing. "Ben, you're standing, you don't know anything about hangovers yet." He chuckled a little before collapsing down into the Mustang's seat and slamming the door shut. "Did you enjoy yourself last night?"

I smiled big as I climbed into the passenger seat. All the memories came flooding back as if the flood gates had opened back up. "Yeah, can't wait to do it again. Thanks, guys."

"Anytime" he smiled as he turned out of the parking lot and started home.

* * *

><p><strong>Sam<strong>

The drive home was uneventful. Ashley had woken up right as we crossed back over California's state line, but she refused to say anything. When I looked her in the eyes, I noticed all hope and all happiness had been drained out along with all the tears. In just a short couple of hours, it seemed se had aged 10 years and could turn into a dementor herself.

She needed to tell us what happened with Dean, and I knew of the one way to get her to talk right now. "Look!" I yelled "You need to drop the 'protecting thy self' act" I continued on harshly as I jerked the car off the road.

"What?" she mumbled as she glared over at me. "You fuck up my car and I'll fuck you over, big boy" she spat as she turned back to stare out the window.

"No" I growled as I jumped out the door and pulled hers open. She almost fell out because she was leaning against it, but quickly righted herself. "Goddammit Ash, tell me who called you! What did they say?"

I was in her face by this time and I finally saw some life flow back into those hazel eyes that looked almost exactly like Dean's. "You sonovabitch! You suddenly care about him? You didn't when he said to leave!"

I smiled slightly when she screamed back at me, but I quickly wiped it from my face as I pretended to get even more outraged. I took her jacket collar in both my hands and lifted up slightly so her heartrate rose and she was closer to eye level. "He's my brother too, Ash! I deserve to know."

"Screw you" she struggled to say since she was chocking slightly, but of course that didn't stop her from slapping me. I had finally won! "And it was Adam who fuckin' called!"

I finally let the smile spread across my face as I let her down. "Broke you" I crooned in momentary celebration. "But what about Adam, what did he say?"

If looks could kill, I would be lying on the hot pavement and seriously be in need of a pyre. "You ass" she sniffled again as she took a step in for a hug. She tucked her arms in to her chest and just accepted my arms around her small frame. There was no reciprocating, but I wasn't the one in need of a hug right now. "Can I explain once, when we are all together, please?" she muttered into my flannel.

"No, tell me now- tell me everything. Then I will tell everyone else." I answered forcibly even though my arms were still around her. "I deserve to know before we even got in the car to drive home per your request" I rationalized as I put my chin down on the top of her head.

"He failed, Sammy. He got her yeah, but she stabbed him before he got her. Dean didn't survive, he's dead. Abaddon killed him- that bitch stabbed him with an angel blade. She killed our brother" she sobbed. I even felt the tears sting my eyes, but I couldn't let them fall now, this was Ash's burden that she was releasing, but when she clenched her fists around the flaps of my flannel I felt better.

* * *

><p>Now Sam understood why Ashley was acting the way she was. It was depressing to hear your older brother, the guy who always took care of you, feed you, clothed you, made you tomato and rice soup when you got sick, that guy is now dead. Sam relinquished the wheel to Ben as she sprawled out in the passenger seat. "How much longer?" he mumbled with eyes still closed.<p>

"Less than half hour," Ben answered "so what was up with the fight back there?"

"Pushing for information."

"Did it work?" Ben pressed as he pulled off the freeway.

"Yup."

"Doesn't mean you get to try it" Ashley warned as she put her shoes back on. "He'll tell you once everyone's back."

* * *

><p><strong>Ashley<strong>

Mom took it harder than I did, and that surprised me. She would have fell to the floor if Sam wasn't standing next to her. She had never lost anyone before, but now that she is alive again, she has watched her husband turn into a monster, watch her children all suffer, and now had to go through the death of her eldest son. Once we sat her down and she regained consciousness, I asked her what caused her to pass out while Sam sat loomed behind her.

"He- Dean stopped by yesterday. Came but wouldn't come in, actually wouldn't even come up the driveway. Said he was sorry, and that he was proud of you two and of Ben. "

"B-but he died two days ago, o-or so Adam said."

"So, he's not dead?" Ben whispered.

"Guess we won't know. He could be a demon, or the Mark of Cain turned him into something worse. Perhaps it was more of a curse than we thought it was. But demon, monster, or dead- which do you prefer?" Sam asked rhetorically.

Everyone agreed with Sam's train of thought and went back to sitting in silence. I personally hoped he wasn't dead, but I didn't dare go for my cards or talking boards to find out- I wouldn't know what to do if it truly turned out he was dead. Castiel probably could find out, and I'm sure he would soon enough, but I did not want to hear the answer. In my heart Dean will always be alive and human, he will be the man that raised me and helped me long before that mark. He will be the Dean Winchester I knew when the three of us were saving people and hunting things.

**AN: One more chapter, I am sorry for the feels, but I think this had to end this way. To follow will be the epilogue. Tell me what you think!**


	21. Chapter 21: Epilouge

_**Epilouge**_

**10 years later!**

Mary was proud of her family as she watched over them alongside John, Bobby, and Castiel. Lisa was standing behind Bobby, looking mostly at her son. The four adults' hearts were brimming with pride at how this family had changed course. They were family, so they sat down on the same bench in a park and enjoyed a heaven together.

Ashley and Sam both retired and stayed at home with Justin and Tara. They both refused to let Justin hunt with Ben, no matter how much he begged, but he was fully trained by the two best hunters that were still alive. Justin was taught under the instruction of Sam and Ashley Winchester; some argue they were the best of the three and Dean was just too driven by rage and vengeance to be considered a good hunter, he was just a scary one. Since Justin was not allowed to go with Ben, he agreed to stay at home to watch out for his little sister, just like Dean used to do with Sam and Ashley.

Ben continued hunting shamelessly, but he was living back at Bobby's with his wife- the girl he had a crush on years ago. He finally worked up the courage and proposed, making Raina Eunice Braden the newest member to the family.

Ben and Raina would go to San Diego every month. Ashley was Ben's mom, as she had been for 14 years and now Sam was his father instead of uncle. He had been a father for Ben for 10 short years, and when asked about it would always say he would have it no other way. Ben treated the two remaining Winchesters as a library, resource, fragile artifact, and strong family to fall back on. Whenever Ben knew he would be gone on a long, treacherous hunting trip, he would send Raina to stay with Sam and Ashley to ensure he kept work away from home, something Dean was never able to do, and that his love stayed healthy and safe while she carried their first child!

Everyone was happy to be out of the rut they were in before, everyone except Dean. He became his worst nightmare and there was no cure. He was a demon, dead to his family, and now the King of Hell with Adam underneath him.

Every weekend Dean would check up on Ben and the Impala. He didn't care since it was not a demon's nature to, but he always felt better knowing his son was happy and Baby was running well. Afterwards he would stop in on Sam and Ashley- they were aging and lazy, but they were happy. Justin had grown up to follow his oldest father's footsteps with Tara.

Tara- she looked exactly like Ash, she was beautiful. She was the first generation of blood Winchester not to hunt, and that was more than Dean could bargain for. "Keep it this way" he said to himself, just like he did every weekend. "I'm proud of us."

Castiel continued to be the Winchester family's guardian angel and felt so much better now that most of his work was to sit and watch them around the house. He would drop in routinely to spend time with the child he once spent hours listening to think and also visit with his oldest and closest friends. He had learned so much from the Winchesters, he was still so engrossed in their way of living. Castiel knew Ben was safer than his trainers once were, so when Ben went on a hunt, Castiel would spend time riding in Baby with him. Cas missed the feel of the Impala under his seat and racing down the road, it never felt as good as when Dean would drive it, but it was still good. "You know he is proud of you, Ben" Castiel said one day once the case was finished and he was going back to his family's home.

"He should be. We bettered ourselves. We moved on and stayed Winchester strong" Ben answered. "But it makes me feel better knowing he still has some emotion and feeling towards us."

"He always will, family was his life, now it is his undoing."

**AN: Thank you for coming on this journey with me! This series was my life for so long, I will miss Ashley Winchester as much as you may. I appreciate all the support, I was not expecting this success at all! It really is true, family don't end with blood...and we are the most devoted fandom out there! The end guys, I thank you for everything! Follow and favorite me as a writer to read more sister fics in the future! Much love, Ashley!**


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